Your, um, daughter?

I took a group of my 8th grade girls to visit a Catholic college-prep girls' only school. Most people come with their daughters, but my girls' parents were unable to attend because of work.
After sending the girls to the gym for their student presentation, I made my way to the library for the parent information session.

Here's the problem: I'm 27. I was 14 when most of my girls were born. I look my age.

Every time a presenter mentioned something about "your daughters," I got funny looks. Their thoughts were almost audible: "Is she really a parent of an 8th grade girl?" "Does she just look really young? How does she do that?" I was ready to market my own line of wrinkle-reducing potions when the other leader of my group, an alumnus of the school, stood up and introduced herself.

She mentioned that she and another teacher had brought a group of students. I was sitting across the room from her, and made no move to identify myself, but there was an instant sigh of relief as heads whipped around, frantic eyes zeroing in on me, tentative smiles begging for confirmation that I was, in fact, that other teacher and not a parent.

Prejudice? No, not here! Never!

Inequity Sux

Field Trip! I took a group of girls to the local college-prep catholic girls' high school for the 8th grade day, and came back feeling 2 extreme emotions: excitement and anger.

I'm excited because this is an amazing opportunity. Twenty-two girls went today, and I wouldn't be surprised if most of them were accepted to the school. The teachers are phenomenal, the resources are out of this world, and the academic program, with its Social Justice focus, is everything I could want for my girls.

Here's where the anger comes in.

Why should only a few of my girls (and the guys who are accepted to the all-boys school) get these opportunities? The students at my school are no less deserving than those whose parents can shell out $13,500 every year.

I don't begrudge the school or its students the resources they have, especially because they seem to make good use of their location and don't buy or build things they don't need. Their library isn't impressive, but they're just down the street from the amazing 8-floor City/University library.

They should have the lab equipment and darkrooms and art studio.

So should every kid.

They should have the amazing teachers who benefit from worthwhile professional development.

So should every kid.

They should have the interactive curriculum enhanced by local and global trips.

So should every kid.

When I arrived back at school, I discovered a visitor. One of our students who graduated a few years ago was back to say hello, and she described her high school experience. "Some of the teachers are really good, but if they stick you with a bad teacher, it's terrible." This bright, intelligent young adult went on to describe schedule problems, missed opportunities, and trouble that she never would have faced at a private college prep school.

Our free public schools should be well-equipped to prepare our kids to compete. The problem isn't just that we don't have enough money; the problem is misused funding, an inappropriate focus on standardized testing, and a lack of quality teacher training.

And our kids suffer for it.

What a surprise: Teacher Talk Strains Voices, Especially For Women

ScienceDaily published an article this week entitled Teacher Talk Strains Voices, Especially For Women. A study by the National Center for Voice and Speech (NCVS) concluded that female teachers use their voices 10% more than their male counterparts while teaching, and 7% more at home. The deputy director of the NCVS alluded to a higher number of voice problems in females, although the article failed to enumerate the type and severity of those problems. So, I'll have to fill in my own details:

I probably do talk more than my male colleagues, although I doubt that I speak louder. Perhaps my "teaching" voice is louder as compared to my everyday voice, though - I've always been one of those weaker speakers, despite my best strengthening efforts. You'd think that constant talking since the start of my career would help, but it hasn't, really.

I do have a number of voice problems. I'm recovering from the flu, which hit me like a bus last week, and my first symptom was a sore throat and a strained voice. Yes, strained like the peas meant to be fed with a small rubber-coated spoon. Mushy and kinda gross.

This is my 6th year of teaching, but it's the first in which I haven't lost my voice the second week of school. Also the first when my calves aren't killing me at the end of the day, but that's due in part to my decision that it really is okay to wear sneakers to school.

My singing voice has gotten worse. It was already pretty bad to begin with, but now it's absolutely horrible. I may also be losing my hearing.

When will OSHA recognize this as a safety hazard and require school districts to purchase those cool teacher microphones that hang around your neck?

Sweet Success

A gigantic environmentally-friendly lightbulb flashed on in my class yesterday. One student, whom I'll call Emily because that's totally not her name (and I'm sad about the lack of a new Bones episode this week) finally figured out how to write! I'm not quite sure what happened. I had already given detailed instructions, and this is my third year as her Language Arts teacher so I KNOW that she's been taught this stuff before, but she's just never really done well with writing.

During the after-school homework center yesterday, Emily was a little distracted by her friends (completely engrossed in a conversation), so I separated the group. Not an uncommon occurence. Instead of sitting and pouting like some of them tend to do, she started working on the book report. She needed more guidance, so I gave her the same step-by-step instructions I've been teaching her class since 2007. This was the time! It worked! She had already read her book carefully, which may have been the missing ingredient before. She took the instructions, worked on them, brought her writing to me to check, revised, checked it again, revised it again, and ended up with a composition that rivals the top students in the class!

Emily was completely shocked with herself, and I think I am too. Honestly, if I hadn't watched her write it, I would have doubted her honesty.

What in incredible boost this is for both of us! Emily is a good kid, and if she doesn't always work as hard as she could, she has shown the desire to do well. Algebra has been a pain for her, and I've seen her self-confidence take a blow, but now she knows, like I already knew, that she's capable.

Lesson learned for me, too. Even though I've been with them for a really long time, a number of my students might need just one more explanation, just a little bit more help, so they can get it.

Promethean Training San Francisco

The alarm went off waaaaay too early for a Saturday morning, and I found myself blinded by the rising sun in my rear view mirror as I headed up to The City (that's San Francisco for you non-Bay Area friends) to O'Connell High School for a Promethean training conference.

I arrived in time to check in, pick up my pre-printed name tag and stylish Promethean-orange gym bag full of goodies, and select my breakout sessions. Well, that took slightly longer than it should have. This interesting lady must have had an earlier morning than mine. Based on the glazed look on her face, I don't think she was being pushy, I suspect that in her altered mindset she just didn't see me 2 steps away from the table. She stood in front of the sign in sheet I wanted for several minutes, gazing as if analyzing the effect of the black ink and white paper on the orange tablecloth, writing nothing, then turned around, gave me a Luna Lovegood-esque smile, and wandered along to get in someone else's path.

The bag full of goodies was nice, but mean. A USB drive (4G, baby!) with all of the day's presentations, a cheap-looking pen that writes really well, a folder with maps and schedules and such, a lanyard to hold our ActivPens (remember my earlier post about the McActivNation.com?), and (drumroll please), an ActivExpression device. What? Really? They're GIVING us one of these? Wait, why are they only giving us one? Are we supposed to use it today and then give it back? As these thoughts of wonderment raced through my head, my greedy paws reached down, rummaging through to get a firm grasp...my fingers grasped the device...

...and sank about 1/8th of an inch into the soft rubber foam.

My heart sank, and I'm sure someone with a hidden camera was laughing at my look of dismay as I discovered that no, Promethean was not struck by a sudden sense of generosity (that would come later), but rather had given us stress-ball-like things in the SHAPE of the ActivExpression devices (seriously, if you haven't clicked the link yet, check it out. These things are amazing!).

Still, the USB drive and the pen and the bag were pretty cool, and I was glad to see that they printed out as few things as possible. Smart people.

After a super-healthy carb-and-sugar breakfast of my favorite type of donut (maple-glazed old-fashioned), my favorite bagel (blueberry with strawberry jam), and some decent decaf coffee with real milk (bless these people!), I made my way into the general session and sat in the back with some other people from my district.

It's a good thing we were sitting in the back, because...well...I'll let my twitter posts tell you.

Wow. They just started the mood music. Please let this be a joke!about 11 hours ago from txt

#promethean it doesn't sound like a joke...about 11 hours ago from txt

#promethean the mood music is still going! I wonder if this guy brings the pianist to classroom...about 11 hours ago from txt

#promethean this should have ended 2O minutes ago. At least. Is he this self-aggrandizing in his classroom?about 11 hours ago from txt

#promethean this guy has no problem complimenting himself. Okay, you made a difference. Great. Now teach us something!about 11 hours ago from txt

#promethean this music makes me feel like i'm on hold...about 11 hours ago from txt

#promethean he's done! The whole message was "you touch lives. Don't give up." thanks, i didn't know that!about 11 hours ago from txt

Now, that's not the whole story (check my twitter feed for that), but it is the reason why it's a REALLY good thing we were sitting in the back. It was hard to keep from giggling! I did enjoy seeing the multimedia magazine his class produced, and the presentation gave me some ideas of things I could do with my own students.

When the keynote speaker was done with his Hallmark card, we went to our breakout sessions. Having suffered through two years of BTSA, I appreciated the simplicity of this conference: we went to a total of two breakout sessions, 2 hours each, and learned enough information to be useful but not so much that we were completely overwhelmed. No stupid activities, no patronizing or time-wasting presenters, just information and guided practice. In my first session, I learned how to use three of the slightly-more-complicated features of the software. The second session focused on the design of our classroom presentations (like a PowerPoint slideshow, only WAY better). It was led by the keynote speaker, and I was a little dubious after his silliness that morning, but it turned out to be informative and helpful. The first hour saw instruction and examples, and the second hour was help creating our own flipcharts. I learned that I can make 3-D slideshows. How cool is that?

The final session was a demonstration of super-cool features and devices followed by the afore-mentioned generosity. They raffled off technology stuff, including a class set of ActivExpression devices, which one of the Tech people from my district won! I was sitting right beside her, so I'm first on the list to borrow it :D

The conference was a lot of fun! They used the Giants - A's rivalry (this is the 20th anniversary of when the two teams played each other in the World Series) and had us each select a team to support. Most of us came dressed in our team colors, which eliminated the need for stupid ice-breakers. Of course, the balance was tipped toward the Giants, considering that the Promethean color is orange (and the Giants are a better team!). I learned some new skills, got the seeds of new ideas, and am ready to go improve my own instruction.

Yay for the Promethean McActiveNation.com!

Drama, advocacy, and oops...

This may come as a shock to you all, so please be sure you're sitting down.

Sometimes 8th grade students don't react in the way you intended.

Are you okay? Breathing? Should I get you some oxygen? Because I know that's a shock to your system!

Here's the story.

No, here's the background.

Our school has an Advisory class. Students in this class stay together for each subject instead of splitting up and going their separate ways. They have different teachers and go to different rooms, but we work to achieve truly tight-knit teams.

Sometimes that backfires.

Now here's the story.

On Friday, I checked homework for one of the classes, whose Advisory teacher happens to be fairly new to the school and is having a hard time being consistent with all-school practices. The Language Arts class usually ends with a reflection, and I started the time with a conversation about the homework that I had just checked. I explained that based on the quality of this work compared to what they have created in the past, I could tell that they were not using their homework and Advisory time well. After a brief discussion of what they could do and where they needed help, they started writing. The question for the written reflection had two parts: "Are you doing your best in Advisory?" and "What do you need to do to make your class better?"

Now, I expected that a few students might realize that their Advisory class could be a LOT better if they controlled themselves, rather than relying on the teacher to control them. They're not little children, after all. I hoped that they would step up and lead the class.

However, it slipped my mind that we've also been emphasizing the skill of self-advocacy. These students will be leaving our little cocoon next year and jumping into large high schools, and we've been talking a lot about how important is to speak up for what you need.

So, this class took the written reflection, and apparently combined it with the self-advocacy lessons...and had a class meeting during lunch. Based on the random conversations I heard after school, they drew up a list of everything that was wrong with their class, especially the Advisory teacher, and presented it to him after lunch. They chose to "make their Advisory better" by telling the teacher what was wrong with him!

I don't know much more than that, and I don't know how much to worry.

Are the kids truly working to improve their class, or have I given them silent permission to be rebellious? Is this going to deal a blow to the school culture, or will it be the crisis that turns us all toward a better path?

Am I going to be seen as an instigator? This other teacher and I don't always see eye-to-eye and, although I try to be professional, the kids have surely noticed by now, especially since he has made a habit of criticizing me in front of them while I'm in the room. I didn't actively want to cause trouble in this class, but trouble has been brewing since the first week of school. Am I an instigator? Is this my silent revenge?

How do I handle this?

Shameless Plug

Yes, it's my first blog post in a while, and I'm out begging. Please check out my request on DonorsChoose.org! People who donate, even small donations like $10 or $25, get thank you cards and super-cute pictures of the kids using their new dictionaries!

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Thank you thank you thank you!

Creepy Stalker Tech Guy

As promised, I'm finally sitting down, practically at the scene of the crime, to let you laugh and cry with me over the antics of our own local Creepy Stalker Tech Guy.

I hope you appreciate the risks I'm taking in telling this story. No, I probably won't be kidnapped or tortured, but getting on the wrong side of the computer tech people in any business can sink you like a lead balloon, and I wouldn't be surprised if CreepyStalkerTechGuy has installed a keystroke-logger on my machine.

Scary, you say? Yeah. It is.

It all began at the start of the last school year. In years past, work orders for computer-related problems could take forever to process, so we were all happy when the district hired a few more IT people and assigned one of them to our school site, which is shared by two schools. I needed some software updates, so the new guy came in after school.

I quickly discovered that he talks better than he works.

Within 30 minutes, he had poured out his entire life story, moaning and groaning about how he kept losing jobs because he had to go to court over a custody battle from his nasty divorce, but he was ready to start dating again, get back into a relationship...

...and suddenly I recognized the warning signs I haven't seen since high school. This guy was about to ask me out! There were students still on campus, people wandering in and out of the room, and he was planning the unthinkable!

So, quick as I could, I "accidentally" dropped a pencil on the desk in front of him and, of course, picked it up with my LEFT hand. He saw the diamond and caught the hint, or so I thought.

"So, are you engaged or married?"

"I'm married."

"Oh..." He thought for a moment.

And then came the icing on the cake.

"Are you...HAPPILY married?"

I didn't think my eyebrows could travel any further up my forehead, but apparently my bugging eyes weren't the "SHUT UP" signal to him that they are to my students. A terse "yes" ended the conversation, but not forever.

On subsequent trips to our school, which happened way more often that I would have liked, he continued his creepy flirting with myself and other teachers, made comments to a male teacher about how much he likes working at our site because of all the attractive females, talked the ears off our overworked administrative assistant and, worst of all, tried to start a conversation with me about "all these people who don't speak English." Not a good plan - our school is 87% Hispanic. Just because we're the only two caucasian redheads within 20 miles does NOT mean we're MFEO!

By now, everyone at the school was having fun laughing about how much attention our whole site was getting, thanks to me, but it was becoming really creepy. Then, my friend put in a computer work order to have some new software installed, and it was software that I had been wanting. When I saw CreepyStalkerTechGuy in the office the next day, I asked, half-joking, if he was there to install the upgrade. Imagine my surprise when he started following me to my classroom. As I told him, I didn't even remember if I had put the work order in yet.

After spending two hours - yes, TWO HOURS!!! - in my classroom, he was running through the work orders to see if he could come up with any other reason to stay. "Um, do you need Shockwave?" As I checked off the work order, I realized something. Something that was going to get me into hot (scalding, boiling, pressure-cooker) water with my friend. This wasn't my work order, it was hers! She had already left for the day, so I asked him to come back at 11 the next day, when she would just be dismissing her summer school class.

He came at 10. He very rudely informed her that he had a lot of work to do, and that if she couldn't give him the computer right then - in the middle of her class - that she'd just have to wait until he could come back.

Um, CreepyStalkerTechGuy? You do know that we only have, like, 10 people on our staff, right? And we all are pretty good friends? And we talk, like, all the time? So everyone is quite aware that you spent 2 hours at my computer, ignoring everyone else at my school and the other 40 people on this site who ALL have computer needs the week before school starts, including the guys who ended up not having the Internet the second day of school when ALL OF OUR ATTENDANCE AND GRADES ARE KEPT ONLINE??? YOU DON'T KNOW THIS???

This has gone way beyond funny, "oh, he's got a crush on Manda, put her name on your work orders and trade computers with her so that the work will get done quickly." No, this has gone to the point where I have HR's extension on a post-it by my phone, and if he pulls this crap one more time, he'll probably lose his job.

Again.

But it's HARD!

The first assignments are due on Tuesday, and the after school homework centers have been ringing with the proclamation: it's HARD!

Yes, dear, it's supposed to be hard. You're in 8th grade. It's Algebra. What, you think it should be easy?

Most of my students are tackling their most difficult assignments first; they are ferocious in their desire to conquer the Algebra and Physical Science, to prove that they can do it, to exercise their atrophied brains, but how long will the honeymoon last? Soon they'll start dropping off, deciding that it's not worth doing because it's just too hard.

Some of my favorite writers have described the writing process, and something seems to be missing: how easy it all is. Stephen Fry just posted a mini-blog about a looming deadline, and he, along with his gazillions of commenters, seems to be constantly surprised by how difficult it is to finish a novel. He quotes his friend Douglas Adams (oh, to have such friends!), saying "'It is almost impossibly hard, [...] It is supposed to be. But once you truly understand how difficult it is,' he added, with signature paradoxicality, 'it all becomes a lot easier.' " The "Why We Write" series over at Wordpress lists writer after writer who, like Fry, find their work as difficult and sometimes dreary as the most burnt-out Algebra student.

This is a long weekend, ironically named "Labor Day." On Tuesday, we'll all get back to the hard work of teaching students to work hard.

A Dell's Demise

I love technology. If I could find a computer that would brush my teeth for me, it would be mine as soon as possible.

I love technology in my classroom. Every yearly plan since I started teaching has included awesome variety of lesson plans using software, blogs, typing programs, movie making, and a list of websites that almost rivals Larry Ferlazzo's. Just kidding. Nobody rivals Ferlazzo.

Here's the problem: my computer is about to crash. It's SOOOOO slow that it took me 30 minutes to print 3 seating charts from Excel today. No, not to MAKE the seating charts. Those were already done. To. PRINT. them. You know, select the cells, go to the page setup, fit to 1x1, print, OK? Yeah. 30 minutes. Seriously, I'm already making funeral arrangements - do you think white carnations are too passe?

I'm preparing for the inevitable by saving EVERYTHING on a flash drive AND uploading it to Google Docs in order to make it as non-panic-inducing as possible, but when THE CRASH happens, I'll be stuck. I probably won't get another computer, even though there are a bazillion new computers sitting in the district warehouse, because the school budget can't cover it. It really doesn't help that more than half our staff has suffered the loss of their computers in the last year. (All of these machines are 5 or 6 year old Dells. Surprised?).

When teachers lose the use of their computers, we have to spend the rest of the year (and possibly the year after) using machines from the laptop carts that were SUPPOSED to be for student use. Of course, these laptops were bought at the same as the teacher computers, so they're no better than what we have. This practice leads to days like today, when I was planning on using 18 machines from a cart...and I ended up with 6 kinda-sorta working computers. So much for teaching students how to use technology. How much can they learn when 6 kids are crowded around one ridiculously slow machine?

I won't even start on Dell chargers, except to say that I will NEVER EVER EVER buy another Dell because of how terrible their chargers and power supplies are.

I'm tempted to go get myself a netbook (can't afford anything more), but will it run the Promethean software for my board? Can I even GET that software? Of course, the district won't allow me anywhere NEAR the wireless internet with my own machine, which means I'll have to haul out my Big Ol' CAT 5 cord (I'm already asking for a 50' CAT 6 for Christmas). Besides, I was promised a teacher laptop when I signed my contract, and golly-gee-willikers, I think I should have one that works!

Which brings me to another point: The district won't let us do FREAKING ANYTHING to our computers. I can't install or uninstall software, even programs that are horribly outdated behemoths I never use. Not a chance!!! I can't even change basic options, like Power Management configurations. All of those awesome videos and free software resources? Not a chance! You might download naughty things and show them to all the poor innocent young children!!! They've locked down the machines "for our protection," but what good does that do when I've STILL managed to get the DownandUp virus? In order to get anything fixed on my compuer, I have to put in a work order and hope that CreepyStalkerGuy comes to fix it. By the way, CreepyStalkerGuy knows less about computers than I do, and I took the majority of my computer classes before 2000.

So, sorry Scott McLeod. You have awesome ideas to go with your strong opinions but, unfortunately, neither does me any good. I had the best-laid plans for my students to collaborate online, communicate, learn and grow and become part of the global community. Instead, thanks to the idiocy of our setup, the only thing my students know about technology is how frustrated their teachers are.

Photo Credit Kevin on Flickr Creative Commons